And when she felt she had lost herself
She put on her white boots

And strutted around her room
Admiring herself in her mirror

She felt powerful again


Am i proud of this?
Why shouldnt i show it to the world?

There is risk
That i have considered

The fact
The idea
That they are listening
That these words are no longer
As private as I initially intended


why do these thoughts plague me so

That the grass is greener on the other side of the fence

Is it truly?
Will I never know?
Do I want to give up what I have to try something new?

But why do I indulge myself in these thoughts
are they real?

Should I act on them…


i know that i am always dreaming of the future
of all the possibilities

and i know i should be treasuring the moment
but i want to have hope
that there is more than this
that there is more for me
once i go find it


and I need you all to stop, i need you all to stop looking at me

so that I can think

so that i can breathe again

so that i can write again

so that i know what i’m thinking, again

so just
everyone go away
bring silence upon me
and leave me to wallow in my own words