And I hate giving up
I hate to prove myself wrong
To disappoint myself
I just hate it
I hate that I’m not good at it.
And I hate that I’m not willing to invest time to get better at it.
And I hate to think of what my future self will think of me now.
Writing this, instead of just doing it.
I hate being so empathetic
I hate being so numb
Will not fix
Ease the snide comments
They will not subside the pain
They will not fix the root of the problem
That love can
But how can I hate something if I have the power to change it?
What if I’m choosing to feel this pain. What if I enjoy it.
I hate being this far away from you
I don’t feel okay at all
Do you hate me like I hate me?
No. I don’t care what you think
I can’t care what you think